Lately, this question has been lingering in my mind as I navigate some internal challenges in my self-development journey. It’s easy to believe that we’ve “grown,” but sometimes, we’ve merely removed ourselves from the environment that triggered our reactions. True growth isn’t just about avoiding situations that test us—it’s about mastering self-control regardless of the circumstances.
I strive to be as transparent as possible on my blog, even when it feels a bit embarrassing. So here it goes—I struggle with my attitude, mood swings, and controlling my anger. There, I said it.
Growing up, I was constantly scolded for allowing my facial expressions to reveal my emotions. Whenever I got upset, I would pout (as my mom would say) or walk around with my face scrunched up. Whether I was in trouble or simply not getting my way, my frustration was always written all over my face. Despite the countless times I was told to correct this, I don’t think the habit ever truly changed.
As the years passed, I prided myself on thinking I had outgrown those behaviors. I believed I had matured simply because I no longer reacted the way I used to. But I was wrong. My habit wasn’t broken—I had just removed myself from the situations that triggered it. That’s not self-control; that’s avoidance.
Now, at 24 years old, I find myself facing the same issue. My husband, with grace and patience, often reminds me to be mindful of my expressions, especially in front of others. And I know what you might be thinking—Tyra, aren’t you too old to still be working on this? The truth is, if you never truly work on your heart, the same issues will resurface, often when you least expect them.
How Do I Truly Fix These Habits?
1. Pray. Ask God to continuously work on your inner self.
2. Actively do the work. Wanting to change isn’t enough—you have to put in the effort.
3. Stop feeling entitled to emotional responses from others. People don’t owe us the validation of our feelings.
4. Take authority over your emotions. When you feel yourself getting worked up, remind yourself that the devil has no power over your joy. The Bible speaks about being slow to anger:
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty.” — Proverbs 16:32
“Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.” — Colossians 3:13
Fix these scriptures in your heart if you struggle with being easily upset. Sometimes, you even have to say out loud, “The devil will not steal my joy!”
After all, we are made in the image of God. And last I checked, God is not an angry God. He does not allow our actions to dictate His emotions. Yes, He gets disappointed, but He also extends grace and mercy. Imagine if God were not gracious—none of us would stand a chance.
As this post comes to an end, I encourage you to do the inner work. Break the bad habits. Renew your heart, mind, and spirit. Pray for yourself, because on your own, you may not be strong enough to overcome your fleshly struggles—but God is. And with Him, true transformation is possible.
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